Ultimate Goodbye is Looming

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With my 42nd birthday looming…I’m considering what birthdays mean to me…

Indulgence. Over indulgence. Birthdays give the excuse to indulge yourself more than almost any other time of the year. Sushi and ice-cream are my choice of poison.

Reflection. On the day the calendar is allowed to add another number to your identity…reflection is inevitable. How did I do? How do I feel? Do I look older? Did I do everything I could?…

My dear friend is right…it is like a death…it’s a death of this last year. I consider it like I would consider losing someone close to myself…Did I say and do everything I could? Did I love it as much as I could? Was I present? etc. And then the year is gone and I can’t get it back…can’t ever see it again…the memories are there but I’m forced to look forward, to move on. It’s like saying goodbye to part of you and also taking a step closer to the ultimate ‘goodbye’.

And then just as there is a death…there is also a birth. A birth of a new year, of new beginnings, new choices, new opportunities. A chance to renew. A chance to change your path or to enhance it or brighten it.

Currently, I believe I measure my worthiness through my accomplishments. Doesn’t sound right when I read it back to myself…but with all honesty that’s where I’m sitting right now. And I have accomplished a lot in my 41st year. I am proud of what I have done, the messages I have attempted to send out into the world, and the people I believe I have touched/affected. It was a good year. A good year to add to the top of my block tower of experiences and memories as I step into another year of possibilities.

My hope for my 42nd year is to make my accomplishments less about me and more about others…helping others to share their stories…to be visible…to feel worthy. I want to measure my worthiness by how worthy I can help others to feel….Yeah…that sounds much better as I read it back.

DARE TO. Share your story. Take a risk. Be really heard and seen.

LOVE.

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