My acting career failed miserably.
After running away to NYC to escape my insecurities and lack of popularity in theatre college; I was overwhelmed with the jungle of opportunities in the infamous city. I held my own in an acting class in Hell’s Kitchen but outside those doors I had no idea what to do.
Basically, I gave up. With no guidance or map to success; it felt helpless and hopeless and so I drifted until my time had run out.
When I planned to run the half this past weekend to set a world record…although I am a bit of a drama queen with a love for attention and the sound of my own voice…I did not even consider the media frenzy that could occur. A little fame if I was to be entered into the big book of Guinness – sure, but that would take time. I was interested in the lesson I was hoping to teach my children, I was looking forward to the euphoric post run feeling and the ability to over indulge. And of course the bragging rights of doing something that no one else had ever been recorded doing.
Well, I got to enjoy those…but I’ve also enjoyed a good amount of popularity unexpectedly. I’ve googled my name and have been recognized on the street. By tomorrow everyone will have forgotten but the last few days….well, I get how actors who have suddenly caught a successful wave feel. I’m not making the money…but I am thinking about how I can capitalize on this success. Keep it alive a little longer perhaps? Or somehow tie it to my next endeavor.
Let’s be honest. I don’t really want it to disappear. I want to breathe more life into it…keep it floating…keep my face recognizable until at least the next time I have a huge success. Who wouldn’t right? I don’t think I want to be able to say “Do you know who you’re talking to?” but it would be nice to know that I could if I wanted to. At least once.
So I’ve got some big projects coming up this year. (I guess this is where I start plugging my next big leaps of faith)
August will mark my very first art show ever. I started working on my political pieces back in January and of course it’s less than a third done – which will ultimately add a shit load of stress to my shoulders. I will get the opportunity to experience euphoria once it has opened…but in the meantime it will feel hopeless like most of my endeavors. I’ve just learned to envision past the hopelessness. That and I’ve decided to take on projects that allow me to have most of the control. (perhaps that was what I was missing back in my 20s)
So although no one will know my name tomorrow and my blog will be back to an audience of 20 until I do something amazing again or someone else dies….I have big plans ahead. Don’t count me out yet please. Hold on for a couple months and check in every once and a while.