Content Warning: We have just experienced a family tragedy today that still seems more suitable to only exist in the movies…we have all been affected and are struggling to process.
Death seems to be settling around me these days. The threat of death. The possibility of death. And strangely enough….I’m curious. More than I think I should be…I don’t have any plans or anything but…when I look at everything and everyone around me I wonder how many people are doing more than just coping. Isn’t that awful?
We spend so many years scrambling to achieve and accumulate things and relationships. We strive to prove our self worth, to establish a reason for our existence. We have families and children and houses and dogs. We work towards goals, we create events to look forward to, we work so that we can live. But if you took each of those things away, like peeling away the layers of a blooming onion (remember those after a late night of drinking…deep fried half opened onion…bad breath, stomach cramps and an urge to have yet another bevie?….god those were the good days…) what is left? Nothing but a bunch of naked humans with no coping mechanisms to get through this ‘gift’ of life.
My babies ask many questions about death. They’ve had their fair share of experience with it already. More than I had hoped to expose them to. When you’re that age you just live. You play and laugh and fight and just…live. It’s not until you have been exposed to death or us adults have taught you enough about it that you start to get fucked up. You begin to question your purpose. You question the whole point of it all…although that doesn’t normally happen until highschool…
In so many ways it feels like our society is just a failure.
Our need to know more, do more, be more, have more, gather more, love more, earn more…we’ve become more selfish, more judgmental, more prejudice, more fearful, more powerful, more angry, more more more.
It feels as though things may be taking a turn for the good. Maybe? Like the tragedy of an unequipped elected world leader is forcing people to look further into the mirror than was before acceptable. If that is in fact the case then, fantastic. My hopes will always remain high for my daughters’ futures.
But I wonder what is on the other side. If we spend the majority of our time here struggling to cope…then what is waiting for us when we move beyond that need? When the pressures, and judgments and worries have all dissipated and its just us naked with no longer any need for anything in particular. Just being. Just playing, and laughing, and fighting…just…being.
Sounds pretty lovely to me.