I have to have a cause. I have to believe that by bringing a neighbor a meal or caring enough to donate my time for a charitable cause through my daughter’s Catholic school I’m making a difference. About two weeks ago I very uncomfortably delivered a Christmas turkey to a family who lives in a house I once had sex in many times as a 17 year old. I was shaking and just so…but that family needs a little lift up. So it was worth my time and my nerves…
Some people say that it’s a eutopian privilege to be able to look for and work for causes. I guess in some ways it is. If you are struggling to feed your children your eyesight remains within your four walls…most of the time. Im definitely in a more privileged position than I was growing up but…I also know that we were able to survive that. We survived the nasty carpeted kitchen and the holes in the walls. I had school debt that I paid myself and I work from 7:30 in the morning till 5:00 every day to create a home for my two babies. But I still believe in caring for and working towards those causes that are important to me. Now the word ’cause’ is pretty generalized and in some ways a negative label for the want to just show care and concerns for other people than just myself. I figure that if I was the kind of person to keep my eyesight within four walls I might as well backup and ralley for a wall to be built between ‘us’ and ‘them’; whomever those two parties may be.
I want to care more and teach more to my children than that.
And what if I didn’t care? What if I didn’t care and you didn’t care and our world was destroyed by big business money hungry assholes? What would be the point to all of that money if you were the only one who had it??? Wouldn’t mean anything anymore. And what if I didn’t care? If none of us cared and we let the businesses take over…it would be a sweet and very short ride.
Even if our step in the sand never stays long enough for anyone to see…maybe it will help to encourage the next person to step a little further, a little deeper.
I have to know that wherever my contribution is…whatever yours is…whatever choices we make…we make a difference.
I refuse to live my life huddled with my arms around my family refusing to care about anything or anyone else.