I haven’t wanted to share recently. As the season starts to pick up pace and I continue to make thousands of felt angels (not really, but feels like it) my creative juices are more focused. These side comments on my existance don’t seem to have the time or space any longer…for the moment. I find myself pulled between the joy (or realistically the forcing of joy upon my daughters as we prepare for my favourite day of the year) and the heart breaking, inspirational, tear invoking stories that I cannot seem to stop reading in the pantsuit nation facebook page.
I find myself still affected by the tragic reality show that american politics have been voted into. The women and men whose lives have been jarred into an alternate reality…I realize that I don’t live there….that it won’t directly affect me for the moment….but for those friends who do, those who I often think of and worry about, and then all the people who are pouring out their deepest and darkest secrets onto this secret facebook page…It’s all made an impact on me. I’m not sure to what extent yet but…I have decided I want to do something about it. I’ve got a couple of projects on the go…that I will see to the end. I will assist those voices to be heard. Not sure why, just know that it’s something I need to do.
And then I wonder if I’ve somehow been sucked into the glorification of a country that controls so much of our social media, news….most of the images that are embedded into our brains through commercials, television, movies, etc. Why don’t I care more about my own country’s politics? I’ve never really been interested before to be quite honest. I care about what happens in my city. I worry about neighbours and friends and family and anyone else who may enter that circle but…why the States? Why do I want to base my upcoming art show around another country? Why write a play about a country I spent less than two years living within…within a reality that I honestly created within a bubble of friends and the romantic ideas I had swimming around in my mind?
I fear that it will affect my daughters’ future. I fear for all these people who are writing their truths that have never been heard before. I am terrified how the defeat of this one amazing woman has created a divide between such a large body of the world mainly due to fear. Absolute fear of the unknown.
Today at my daughter’s piano rehearsal a man was wearing a shirt with a Andy Warhol inspired portrait of Hillary. The caption read “You see? I DO suck.”
I can’t even…
I don’t want to live in fear. I don’t want to create anything that could increase my daughters’ future struggle as women. But I do believe, living this close by, we are some how involved. And I have things to say….