Truth or Dare

Its been a bit of a crappy day and I’m feeling anxious about my run on Saturday so…wanna play with me?


Sometimes I hate running. It hurts, it’s inconvenient and it’s energy sucking. But I sign myself up for a certain number of runs per year so that I am forced to be accountable for my health, fitness and physique. And when I am done…I feel like just for a couple fleeting moments…like  a superwoman.


I suck at fundraising. I’ve taken my kids with me to try to raise funds for cancer research by going door to door. I don’t like doing it. I’m not a good salesperson at all. Not at all. I’ve still only raised under 40% of my goal and I’m feeling like a failure with it and want to just quit. I’m not going to yet, but I really want to.


I’m an addict. Not so much in the conventional sense. I’m addicted to chasing euphoria. I normally feel it through acting on my crazy ideas that most people think I shouldn’t do, forcing myself to achieve a level of transparency and by getting a sufficient amount of positive attention (I admit I have even craved negative attention at times). I’m one of those people who easily get bored with the mundaneness of every day life. I fight to bring excitement to it, I get off on anxiety, fear, and fighting through that. I keep uping the anti (as my mom says I keep “pushing… pushing…”) and eventually…eventually I’m going to be disappointed or will fail miserably or perhaps…break. It’s just who I am. I did it back in highschool with my life sized self nude portraits, I continued with my various piercings, tattoos, running away to NYC, building a band, even quitting it all suddenly to settle down. It’s in my veins to fight the current of the stream which naturally creates a constant inner struggle. And perhaps that struggle will eventually prevent me from ever being fully satisfied. Either that or perhaps it will one day help me to achieve a moment of complete brilliance..I can always hope.



Your turn.

For the small dozen or so of you who follow me…you’re strangers to one another really…so comment on here and give me a truth or dare. Play with me. Take a risk.

I dare you.

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One Response to Truth or Dare

  1. JustAnotherNakedThought says:

    Truth – Sometimes I go out of my way to avoid things I know I should be doing. I procrastinate and divert, in all possible ways, just so that I can avoid whatever “thing” it is at that particular time that I want to stay away from. I’ll lie and make up stories just to avoid it. I think of only myself in those moment.

    Truth – I get by on a lot less than people think, but I don’t let them become aware of that as my pride won’t allow it, and I don’t want them to worry (because some naturally do). I make do. I don’t moan or whine about it, I simply get on with getting on. But most people, even those close to me, really don’t get to see just how little I get by on. I hide it well.

    Dare – Well, I can’t really post anything here as a dare in a comment, but you can call me out on a dare of your choice.


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