I’m Desperate…and here’s why…

Today I booked a space. A space for my future endeavors, for my near in the future dream. I’m terrified again. Terrified and excited of what I can do. I’ve done it before only now I am smarter and am ready to just do what it takes to…to fulfill my dreams…

People around me find me (from my understanding…) a little too ambitious, or crazy maybe…or trying too hard or even desperate. Desperate. That’s what I would describe myself as…I’m desperate. Desperate to accomplish what I know that I can. Desperate to fulfill my being, my destiny, my reason. Forty years have gone by and I’ve learned, grown, accomplished a little, regretted a little more…The next forty are for me to create. My story is not done. Not in the slightest. And although I have children who need me…I am still me. And that me is not done.

So….

I have an art show coming up next summer. And this October….I am going to try my best to put it out there…on the line…with all who are interested to see…although my clothes will be on…I will be naked as a baby…and I’m excited and….ready to see where it takes me.

Escapes and distractions are fantastic. We all need them to release our somewhat lacking realities…even more so these days as some of us try to explain to our children why this world is so fucked up…but…I refuse to give in to…the numbness of…our current state. I may not win, I may not get close to…my big dreams…but day by day, step by step I will work small and I know that I can.

I CAN.

As Jason Mraz (one of my absolute favourites) says…Life is worth living. And I’m not afraid to fly.

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