I’ve always had a lot of ideas, images, stories playing around in my head. I can see the end of most of them…what could be the result or the resolution or the final product but I never know how to get there.
I know they say “It’s not the result but the journey that matters”…yeah, yeah, yeah…I had a boyfriend in college who had similar quotes written on post-its all over the walls of his studio apartment. Great advice. Great reminder. But I can’t see the journey. I can’t hear it or taste it…or know it. I’ve gotten to the point now that I have enough faith and just leap. As long as I know the where abouts of the end result I am willing to give it a go. With my runs, my writing, my art, teaching a felting class, starting a daycare, opening a bottle of wine (I’m enjoying that journey right now as we speak)…I have faith that it will be favourable so I jump in.
But because I have so many of these ideas, images, stories dancing around in my mind…I’ve never been super at anything. I’m good at lots of things…I dabble in all sorts of shit…but…weak when it comes to committing…in most cases.
So I’m attempting a full length play right now. I’ve gotten fourteen pages written in the last three days. It was exciting once I got myself to start. It all just kind of flowed and I understand where I want to end up and can see that last scene in my mind’s eye. But fuck if I have any clue how to get there…No idea how to build it all up in a neat, unsuspecting little package of sorts. So I start to think of my drawing… I have a project that I want to start working on…well, really I have two. Oh and one portrait to do for a friend…perhaps I should jump ship and start those. Maybe I should put it aside and direct my attention else where…perhaps I’m at the end of my run and I will soon realize that it has been a fluke and soon someone is going to be brave enough to tell me how bad my writing really is.
Am I the only one who thinks this way?
Please say ‘no’.
Can the excuse of “writer’s block” be sufficient?
I want so badly to finish this and enter it into contests and send it away to theatres looking for full length plays and….I wish I could just finish writing the bloody thing!!!!
This is normally when I would quit. Not sure if I’m all that good at this? Well, then quit it and try something new. Don’t waste your time with something you may not excel at stupid….
Or maybe just drink more wine. Mmmm that sounds good. Ok, I will take option two and return to this tomorrow. My characters and my fingers need a night off.