GOOD ENOUGH

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I took my kids to another portrait drawing class last Friday. The guest artist planned to teach us how to let go and draw with our non dominant hand. She talked about how we all need to squash that voice in our heads that tell us that we are NOT ENOUGH. A great thing for my six year old to hear…

It was an interesting experiment. I enjoyed drawing the same face I’ve become comfortable drawing with my dominant hand. The same image was basically created as I am still seeing myself through my own eyes, only the lines were less steady. I also noticed that things I take for granted when I’m drawing with my right, suddenly disappeared when drawing with my left. When I am drawing across the page (on the left side of the page) with my right hand, my right hand covers a good amount of the page. It doesn’t seem to bother me…like I can still see it even though it’s being blocked. When I drew with my left hand across the page (on the right side) I was suddenly blinded.

So we are creative with our right side of our brains…and my right hand drawing allows me to be able to see things that aren’t there but when my left hand is drawing the logical side of my brain reminded me that in fact I was unable to see it. Interesting…

It was a good class and a good challenge for me to explore.

I enjoy challenges, incase you hadn’t noticed. I like to joke saying that I’m just continuing to prove my existence. Actually, to some extent I think it’s kind of true but not in a “please notice me and love me” pleading kind of way but more for me. Each day goes by so quickly running into the next and I clean, and feed my family, try to find joy and laughter each day…but I find that I need something more. Not that that isn’t GOOD ENOUGH just not for me…

Yesterday I ran the Mississauga marathon. It took me over four and a half hours to complete. Longer than I had hoped for…but still GOOD ENOUGH for me. It was painful, and exhilarating, and awful, and eye opening…There were moments when I wanted to quit. I was ready to walk for the next 15km and just put it behind me. And then there were times when I was running past the lake shore and the water was splashing up onto the rocks and almost over my head. I could absolutely feel the presence of God with me willing me on. There was a couple of times like that during the run when I just knew I was in God’s hands. It was humbling. And emotional. And worth every pain and ache I am experiencing today.

That is why painful, gut wrenching, uncomfortable and unimaginable challenges are worth going after in my eyes. They are difficult, but we can learn so much about ourselves, our world and even things beyond while struggling through them. The inner struggles I experienced during those almost five hours yesterday, the conversations I had with myself, the moments of joy and fear and pain and love…were all worth it. It all reminded me that indeed I am GOOD ENOUGH.

This coming weekend I have entered a 24 hour play writing contest. Not as big of a challenge, definitely not as physical of a challenge…but a challenge none the less.

When was the last time you challenged yourself?

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