This is the center piece for my new collection. I feel relieved that it worked out how I had hoped. Didn’t know what it was going to look like when I started…but it felt right when it was done.
An old friend of mine asked me what these drawings I’ve been working on mean to me. I hadn’t been asked that question or even really thought about it before she asked, but I barely paused before answering….I want to be seen.
I. WANT. TO. BE. SEEN.
It’s not a desperate cry for help, or a need for attention. I just want to be seen for who I am. Not a mom, or housewife, or daycare provider, or a friendly neighbor or whatever other role I fill at times….just me. With all my sharp edges, and ripped pages. For all my bad choices, silly thoughts, strange habits, crazy preferences. For all the stupid things I’ve done, and all the things I should have done. It’s all just me.
Each one of these portraits are a little different. Soft, harsh, pensive, seductive, goofy…they each represent a different side of me.
Back in grade 12 our english teacher asked us to make a presentation. It could be about anything we wanted it to be about but it had to be a topic that was important to us. Strangely enough, I did mine on me. I brought in a suitcase filled with silly things I held on to decorate or cover up who I was. Some of you may remember my one large hoop earring, sparkles I lathered on my face, dark eye makeup…I know I wasn’t alone, most of us hid ourselves in highschool to some degree or other. But that presentation felt kind of significant to me. Like maybe I was allowing myself to be more authentic by offering my secrets to all the judging teenage eyes. Think I closed back up again though soon after. Like I had to continue to present myself over and over again in order to prevent myself from going back into the shadows. So I did that presentation when I was 17 years old…and now being 40….I’m presenting it again in another form. Circle of Life, right?
I’m not done though. Just begun. So, if you’d like to take a look at the full collection (although I think I may have one more in me) please take a look at the “See Me” Collection tab just next to “About” under the featured picture of my eyes.
I hope they create some kind of response within you. Feel free to share if they do.
I care. And I hope you do too.